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Proper Behavior in Shul

While most of the articles in this column deal with rituals and how we practice our Judaism, in this column we will discuss what is proper in order to perform the rituals in the public space that is the synagogue. Why does this matter? For at least two reasons: 1) how we behave may affect others in their ability to communicate with themselves and with G-d, and 2) how we behave should reflect our own sense of our being in the presence of G-d.

We first need to consider the reasons for coming to shul to daven together – including the sense of comfort we feel in the presence of our fellow Jews when we are dealing with the difficulties or tragedies of life, the coming together to share thoughts and learn from each other during the Torah service, the “power in numbers” in praying together, the feeling of being a part of a greater community and knowing the same prayers are being recited across town, across the country and around the globe and are being recited now, were recited over the past centuries and will continue to be recited in the future. All of these (and more) require that the community that comes together at a certain time, in a certain place share certain behaviors so that each individual can feel a part of the whole.

Therefore, when we enter the sanctuary, we should be dressed appropriately – this is a subject we have covered under Decorum. On Shabbat and holidays, for example, this means suits or jackets and ties for the men, and suits, dresses, skirts or dressy pants for women. Also, when we come into the sanctuary, we should be dignified and respectful of the place and the presence of the Torah scrolls – so our language should reflect this and we should whisper to one another rather than talk loudly. Again, this helps allow others to continue praying without being interrupted by our conversations. A sign was posted in our Haddon Heights building, which stated, “if you must whisper, whisper a prayer.”

Many people are in the habit of chewing gum during the day – but this is not appropriate behavior in shul! Others walk around with their cell phones attached to their ears – or at least a hands free headset! This too, would disturb our fellow congregants and therefore we post a sign asking that everyone turn off their cell phones.

Certain activities are not appropriate for Shabbat and Holidays – such as writing, taking pictures or handling money. Therefore, one should not be seen (heard?) jingling loose change in one’s pocket!

Of course, if you come in late, you may be asked to remain outside the sanctuary or to stand in the rear during certain parts of the service – so as not to disturb those already there. When you do go to your seat, you should do so quietly and try not to disrupt anyone’s kavanah (concentration).

Finally, in addition to respecting others’ ability to concentrate, we need to recognize our own sense of what it means to be in the presence of G-d in shul. There is a certain atmosphere that is created in the sanctuary – it is meant to be a place free of the hustle and bustle of the marketplace. Of course, Judaism teaches us that G-d is found not just in shul, but everywhere. How we behave in the work environment is just as important as how we behave in shul. The Torah is full of laws concerning our behavior in the outside world (for example, we are told to have fair and equal weights and measures (we aren’t allowed to take advantage of our customers). Perhaps, when we go to shul, though, we are reminded of G-d’s presence in our lives, and therefore can take the special behaviors we practice in the sanctuary with us as we leave and re-enter the world outside. We must act like mensches and be respectful of others all the time, everywhere!!