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Shabbat

Alvin Stern

In his Kol Nidre message, Rabbi Lindemann spoke to us about having tipping points in our lives and specifically talked about the observance of Shabbat. Let us continue that theme with some of the rituals of Shabbat that are easy to observe in your home on a weekly basis.

To the set the mood for Shabbat's arrival, the house should be clean, we can bring fresh flowers to the table, the dinner could be set in the dining room using special dishes or a special tablecloth - a simple way to indicate that Shabbat is not just another day of the week. The meal itself could be festive - just being in the house and smelling the aromas of the meal being prepared can set a mood!

On the table we have two whole loaves of challah (or one challah and a small challah roll, or challah rolls for all) covered with a challah cloth (though a napkin will do, a challah cloth usually depicts a Shabbat table scene). Candles may be placed on the table or on a side table and should be lit with the appropriate bracha. It is customary to have the parents bless their children before the meal - using the words of the Priestly blessing in Hebrew or English. This ritual alone tells the children how valued and loved they are - even when much of the previous week has had its share of disagreements and necessary discipline, when Shabbat starts and the children are blessed, the peacefulness of the moment conveys the deep love that exists.

The Kiddush is recited over a cup of wine or grape juice - anyone who is preparing for their Bar or Bat Mitzvah or has already celebrated that milestone, should be able to do this with ease. Before having the challah, we wash our hands - a ritual cleansing before handling food. It is customary not to talk between the washing and the recitation of the ha-motzi - once again providing a peaceful moment to remind us that we can take time out of our busy, noisy routine to enjoy the quiet and restfulness of Shabbat. The Ha-motzi is then recited over the challah and all are given a piece to eat (salt is sprinkled on the bread to remind us of the sacrificial offerings using bread and salt).

After the challah, it is time to enjoy the meal, during which family members can engage each other is discussions - unlike much of the rest of the week when there are meetings, activities, Hebrew School carpools, etc. After dinner, the Birkat HaMazon is recited (there are short and traditional versions), which may be preceded with singing of Zemirot (table songs). Friday night can be a family night - a chance to enjoy a leisurely dinner with time to be together. Many families play table games after dinner (Scrabble, Monopoly, etc); others may watch a video together or sit in the room reading.

All of the appropriate blessings can be found in the Siddur Sim Shalom which we use at TBS - there is a section of home observances in the back. Copies can be purchased through the synagogue. We can also provide transliterations, where needed.

A good reference book would be the Jewish Catalog - a series that came out in the 70's, and has lots of creative ideas. The library has a copy. Our Rabbis would also be available to offer help. Whatever you do will help bring your family together for at least one night a week - that alone is precious! Shabbat Shalom!